Kontraksi di bulan ke 8

Marking my second pregnancy journey. If last week was crazy and terrifying. Bapak left for a business trip, almost no helper, I carried a baby inside my belly and taking care of one active toddler. I assure myself that it is not the end of the world, let's just enjoy it and make it fun.

So I spent a week trying as hard as I can be to make my toddler kept entertained, we did everything together,  buying groceries, cleaning up and messing up the house,  I was doing housework and everything I gotta do as a mother day to night. 

I thought it was fine because it is what many moms do here in Balikpapan,  there are some other who take care of 3 to 4 kids where their husband working remotely and without maid.

I felt I was strong enough but I might be forgotten to listen to my body, after bapak came home I always felt something pushing from my womb, braxton hicks perhaps, so I just slept it off until one day it became harder and pushing every ten minutes,  that's crazy my midwife suggest me to the nearest hospital to get help.

The nurse did a VT checked, no opening yet. So I get medicated to stop the contraction, and an injection maturing my fetus lung,  incase of emergency,  I asked to stay for a bedrest.

I am so grateful to have a very caring midwife from griyabunda sehat,  mba neny always checked my condition,  she always remind me to communicate with my womb and my baby. She asked me to give positive affirmation "My dearest womb, I love you,  please stay strong take care of adek until the right time, until everything is perfect".  I repeated it again and again.

But it wasn't easy to get rest when you have one stressed two-year-old kids, it is terrifying and exhausting at the same time, I felt as guilty as I can be. How can motherhood be so crazy?

So the struggle is real, mama called me from Padang,  she's so worried but all she can do is praying for the best for her daughter far away, she said "kakak,  nggak ada tempat untuk kita bisa minta pertolongan selain sama Allah,  kakak yang kuat" and it was much more than enough for me.

I hope this hall pass.